Lol I had to go away because I spent too much time here using tumblr as an open diary instead of page for my art. I think it’s been months since I contributed to my account. I’m not sure if anyone cares if I update on my life but I’ll share anyway. Haha.
I have been away in a hibernation. I went through a mental breakdown. Battled toe to toe with personal inner demons. This was extremely challenging to face. At times I couldn’t even bare to be near myself. Even so I made sure not to shy away much from the pain. I struggled at times because I seriously had NO One to go to. No friends. No family. No significant other. No coworker. Only me and at times a message from my online counselor. I wanted to blame my external issues for the reasons why I had so many limitations in life. The limitations were myself all along. It felt deeply unbearable being held captive in your own mind. The desire to come out the other side with pure Will Power, like in My Hero Academia Deku was fighting for his family, friends and teacher to help him get back up. Honestly I’m not Deku. It wasn’t even close to enough strength to get back up when everyone else wanted to see you fail, rot out in the garage for all they cared or be used them. It frustrated me to no end. Yet, I was still determined not to sit down and give up! I had dreams too! I deserved to live a good life no matter the wrong doings of my past too! Coming to realize and believe this, took an unbelievable amount of inner strength and courage to forgive someone’s self through painful triggers. The battle with my demons were constant barrages of attacks towards every part of the vessel which held them. It was a free for all zombie attack and my weapons were writing, reading and prayer.
Meanwhile dealing with depression, social anxiety, loneliness and the massive cloud of evil thoughts looking at me everyday. I fell hard on to spiritual growth and prayer. Knowledge is the key to releasing your soul. I had no idea I was a spiritual person but deep inside I found out I am. I threw my trust to the wind and followed the signs laid out by my guides. Here I am! I got a little lost but Here I Stand!… The signs lead me to overcome every little thing that was holding me back. I’ll let you know it’s not prefect and it won’t ever be. It’s a constant battle. The demons don’t go away but they get quieter. That is the most relieving thought. Some times they were so loud, self harm, drugs or alcohol felt like an easy escape or solution. I had nights where alcohol won a battle or two but it didn’t mean I lost the war to it all. The moral of the story is it’s not suppose to be easy but if you take one day at time, surround yourself with positive words, motivation. Empower yourself with knowledge, self love, self care, and a bit a spiritual quiet it is possible to overcome. It is possible to be… Deku, to stand up even when your arm is broken, scratches all on your body and eye swollen. These things will heal and you will conquer yourself as it is meant to be.
I was gifted with love through this battle. I fell in love with a beautiful lady. She is witty, outgoing, and always ready for an adventure. She is very kind and thoughtful. She loves nature and will probably knows where all the closest parks are. She is bubbly but will quickly go cynical if you lead her there. Her smile is infectious. Her style is impeccable. She is a natural model. Her voice is so soothing even strangers feel like she is Home. Of course she looks nothing like her age. She is…. ME! Hehehe! I LOVE her so much! Sometimes she stays up late and doesn’t eat right, but she is quite the determined girl. I can’t wait to see where she goes and learn more about her. She’s a Healed woman. She has started a new chapter in her life.
The first sign is that you will start seeing what you desire everywhere. For example, if you are focusing on getting a new car, then you will begin to see it everywhere. You will see more people driving the car that you desire on the highway. When you watch television you will start seeing ads for cars repeatedly. You will see images of what you desire in magazines and on the internet. This is a sign that your desire is beginning to manifest itself. It also gives you the opportunity to see different options, color choices, sizes, so that you can refine your focus to be more precise about what you desire.
Sign 2: Audio Prevalence
Next you will start hearing about your desire everywhere. In the coffee shop you will hear people talking about what you desire. On the radio, advertisements related to your desire will play. It will seem like you cannot escape from what you really desire. The manifestation of your desire is getting stronger. You are beginning to hear others opinions to help you focus on how you will feel when you have manifested your desire. The “Law of Attraction” is attracting people who had similar desires or already own what you desire.
Sign 3: Touching the Desire
Now you will find yourself in situations where you can touch the object of your desire. For example, if your desire is a computer you may have a vendor come by your work offering free demonstrations of computers. It is in this stage that the Universe is giving you a chance to touch and test the object of your desire. It is asking you if you are certain of exactly what you want. At this point you can continue to reaffirm your positive thoughts or change them to a different option. “The Law of Attraction” is bringing all of the options to you to touch and test out. You can use this to focus your mental picture to help the “Law of Attraction” work for you quicker.
Sign 4: Happiness
Suddenly you will start to feel happier than normal and feel more contented. You will not be able to pinpoint the cause, but the feeling is undeniable. This is the universe comforting you and letting you know that what you desire is being manifested. At this stage many consider doing something unrelated to their design since they are confident that the universe is manifesting the object of their desire. However, I would encourage you to stay on course. Remember, “like attracts like”. If you change your focus, then the object that you seek may drift away because you no longer want it as much. Watching for signs of the “Laws of Attraction” working for you can provide valuable warnings to you of when you need to refocus your attention. If the signs begin to disappear then consider taking time to refocus on what you seek to attract.
Sign 5: Excitement
As noted by Dr. Pillay, our brain function follows the “Law of Attraction”. As the “Law of Attraction” is working for you, your brain’s neurons react. They will fire in a way to cause excitement and anticipation similar to what you feel when you watch a high-speed car chase. Your amygdala in the brain, as shown in research, will literally light up under brain scans as the “Law of Attraction” does its work.
Sign 6: You See the Sequence “111” everywhere
This is one of the less subtle signs that the “Law of Attraction” is working for you. There are many theories for why this happens. Some suggest that this is the “Angel” number. In any case you will start seeing watches and clocks showing 11:11, you will see addresses with 111, license plates around you will have 111 in their sequence, your number on a wait list will have 111 in it, and you even may find your change at stores starts commonly being $11.10 or a similar amount with a 111 series in this. What do you do when you see this sign? All you need to do is smile and know that you are creating your own reality through the “Law of Attraction”.
Sign 7: Deeper Sleep
Soon you will find yourself more relaxed when you go to bed. You will fall asleep easier and have a deeper more dream-filled sleep. The Universe is reassuring you that the “Law of Attraction” is working and is clearing your mind of stresses so that you will be ready to receive what you desire.
Sign 8: Synchronicity Becomes Prevalent
The final sign is that you will start to find people and things that can provide the resources for what your desire to happen. The “Law of Attraction” is attracting all the resources, contacts, and events needed to make your dream a reality.
I’m finally starting to feel the love for my self grow. Keep saying it everyday until you believe it.
Your mind set changes. You don’t tolerate bullshit. You recognize when someone doesn’t need to be in your life or who has been playing you like a fool. - Keep Up the self love! Wake up with purpose each day. Be thankful for small things to be grateful for the big gifts. I feel on that I am on the path!
After over 2 years of waiting, Pokemon Go will finally allow you to battle other trainers one-on-one in real time. It will launch globally later this month.
I haven’t played since the release but gosh I will play again for this update!
